WATCH FOR "IZZY AND ME" - The Book - LATE 2014

Friday, August 15, 2014



I waited a few days before I wrote this because I wasn't sure if I wanted to share, but time and time againour life is Gods testimony! 

I have heard a lot of people say that the media goes on and on about the death of an entertainer yet people all around the world die every day and I agree. Robin Williams’s death is different. His death reached millions who suffer from the same disease--It is called depression!! 

You see for the most part I will post positive things, except for an occasional breakdown. Well truth be told, I suffer from severe depression and I have thought about suicide my whole life. Only a few people know that because it is something I am not proud of, but I am not ashamed. When I share my story, those thoughts have helped other people who go through the same thing. Have I tried to commit suicide? Yes!! One time is all it took and fear came into my soul and I realized I wasn't sure where I was going if I did this. I didn't want to live but I didn't want to go to HELL either! Did the suicide thoughts go away? No. Not until a year and a half ago. 

You see, instead of trying to take my life I just got down on my knees and begged God to take my life. Am I still depressed? Yes, and I will have to renew my mind every day of my life when that feeling overwhelms me. There is a feeling that overpowers me when trouble comes my way......a feeling of panic. I can't get my head to  see things clearly. I have been to therapists and I have taken anti-depressants, but it wasn't until I found my church back home that I realized that for me Jesus was all I had and all I needed. When I moved back to Vegas the depression was the worst it has ever been and I was so depressed that instead of going into my room and asking God to take my life I would say it in front of my husband and kids. I would scream and beg and do the ugly cry.

People call Robin Williams a coward for taking his life and that is just not true! His death has caused more people to call the suicide hotline than they can handle. Last month in Vegas there were 3 suicides and that is just in one week. I realized yesterday as I sat in my house alone for the day how so many people think I am strong and a good person, I tell it like it is and I am funny and crazy and that's true, but I am also sad every day of my life! I asked myself yesterday, if Robin Williams could do this, will you? 

 I will say No but I guess my life will tell! I am sharing this because My Savior Jesus keeps me lifted and He loves me. His love is all I need and when the pain comes in my heart and the thoughts of pain come in my head I think of God. I go to his word and he can turn my day around! So for any of you out there who suffer from the disease called Depression--because yes it is a disease--I am lifting you up in prayer and I will always be here to get through it with you...either via my Facebook page or Comments on this blog. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! 

Today I met with my agent Carol and one of the two writers for my book Morgan. Morgan and Denny have written my story and I will tell you it hasn't been easy for them. I have had to dig deep in me to come up with my past and it really hard. I made things difficult but they never, and I mean never, walked away from me! 

So go out today and remember whether that person is rich or poor, a mommy or daddy, employed or unemployed, married or single, young or old, show them love. You see the spirit of Depression is like doesn't care who you are or what you have. It wants to destroy you! Be blessed and be a blessing!!!

1 comment:

  1. Gina, your book has been quite a journey for all of us involved, but as you've opened the book of your life for all to read, we've seen positive changes in you. I'm looking forward to the day when "Izzy and Me" is finished. You will turn to look at the rest of TeamGina and say, "The fear is gone...and I feel happy."